I was just watching Inside the NFL and I figured I’d put down some quick thoughts:
- Chris Collinsworth has some pipes; it’s a shame that his voice is becoming synonymous with Madden ’10. It hurts his credibility as an analyst to have audio of him, no matter how manufactured, say that he admires the way JaMarcus Russell plays the quarterback position.
- That being said, he’s got nothing on Harry Kalas. Dude’s voice was smoother than Mike’s leather in Bad Boys II. If his voice was on a GPS box I would follow it into oncoming traffic.
- I am afraid of Phil Simms. If a person’s eyes are the windows to their soul, Phil Simms’ are the poo-smeared mirrors in a west Baltimore Chinese restaurant bathroom. It’s like staring at a pigeon in Patterson Park that’s lost its instinctive fear ofhumans.
- How could anyone on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Denver Broncos possibly take their head coaches seriously? They barely look old enough to drive with friends in the car, are they really supposed to be steering the direction of an entire franchise? Did owners and GM’s actually sit down to interview these guys and walk away thinking, “You know, all our players have enough daddy issues without older men yelling at them to work harder. What we need is a coach that’s younger than most of my bottles of whiskey.”
- Why can’t Collinsworth give his picks for the games he’s broadcasting? Is he really powerful enough to change the outcome of the game simply by expressing his opinion? I understand the need to maintain a degree of professionalism but I also understand that that’s ridiculously stupid.
- How uncomfortable was Chris Cooley when Jenn Brown indirectly brought up the topic of his penis picture being posted on the Internet? Talk about connecting with your fans in ways hitherto unimagined; do you think Johnny Unitas ever passed around photos of his man-bits to fans outside of Memorial Stadium? Of course not! With the shoddy camera technology of the 1950’s he never would have been able to get the lighting right; the man was like a sundial.
- I’m pretty sure Jenn Brown only got the job because she’s James Brown’s cousin.
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